Friday, March 31, 2006
Bush Gone Wild! Spring Break Cancun '06!
We can just see the headlines now: Bush Gone Wild! Spring Break Cancun '06 - Show Us Your Diplomacy, Baby!
And now for the quotes, from Bush's 3/30/06 meeting with Mexican President Vicente Fox at the Fiesta Americana Condesa Cancun Hotel:
"We don't want people sneaking into our country that are going to do jobs Americans won't do, we want them coming in, in an orderly way..."
Translation: We want them coming across the border in single file to perform jobs that Americans won't do.
"I think a program that will work is somebody working on a temporary basis with a tamper-proof ID card. And if they want to become a citizen, they can get in line, but not the head of the line. "
As long as it is a single file line. But while we're on the subject, isn't it delightful to know that President Bush's job description is essentially the same as the guest workers he describes? "Somebody" (anybody will do) working on a "temporary basis" (just two more years!) with a "tamper-proof ID card" (how else is he supposed to unlock those launch codes?).
"Mr. President [Fox], you've done a fine job of providing stability and increasing the net worth of your citizens, and that's important for the American economy, as well."
Because nothing says increased net worth of a citizenry like an orderly, single-file procession of Mexicans crossing the border, tamper-proof ID cards in hand, to fill jobs that Americans won't do.
"We've got a lot to do in our relationship."
Yes. You really do.
And now for the quotes, from Bush's 3/30/06 meeting with Mexican President Vicente Fox at the Fiesta Americana Condesa Cancun Hotel:
"We don't want people sneaking into our country that are going to do jobs Americans won't do, we want them coming in, in an orderly way..."
Translation: We want them coming across the border in single file to perform jobs that Americans won't do.
"I think a program that will work is somebody working on a temporary basis with a tamper-proof ID card. And if they want to become a citizen, they can get in line, but not the head of the line. "
As long as it is a single file line. But while we're on the subject, isn't it delightful to know that President Bush's job description is essentially the same as the guest workers he describes? "Somebody" (anybody will do) working on a "temporary basis" (just two more years!) with a "tamper-proof ID card" (how else is he supposed to unlock those launch codes?).
"Mr. President [Fox], you've done a fine job of providing stability and increasing the net worth of your citizens, and that's important for the American economy, as well."
Because nothing says increased net worth of a citizenry like an orderly, single-file procession of Mexicans crossing the border, tamper-proof ID cards in hand, to fill jobs that Americans won't do.
"We've got a lot to do in our relationship."
Yes. You really do.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
You Really Were Quite Good
Fond greetings, gentlest of readers -
We've lately been possessed of the ridiculous desire to unburden ourselves of all our earthly possessions. While we normally shudder at the idea of using two so similar words as "possessed" and "possessions" in a single sentence, we feel it is a stylistic and spiritual necessity, given how truly gripped we are by this desire, and how tightly a grip mere things tend to have on our feeble hearts.
Do we really need that pair of Biedermeier lounge chairs off the entrance to our garage, for those nights when we are too knackered to make it all the way into the foyer where our faithful publicist will no-doubt be waiting, slippers and Tylenol in hand, perhaps having dozed off after waiting up too long for us, not anticipating that our "Just popping out for some Smarties and vindaloo" would take 29 hours and end with our triumphant return to the flat not with a carton of takeaway but rather with three bejeweled though in retrospect tragically nasal courtesans whom, we must say, shall never be invited back due to their egregious social transgressions involving not just several cutting remarks directed at our choice of slippers but also an appallingly awkward reference to pomegranates that we, as staunch upholders of good taste and propriety, shall certainly not repeat in this forum, lest we offend your delicate sensibilities?
Perhaps, in retrospect, we do.
Habitually yours,
CE
We've lately been possessed of the ridiculous desire to unburden ourselves of all our earthly possessions. While we normally shudder at the idea of using two so similar words as "possessed" and "possessions" in a single sentence, we feel it is a stylistic and spiritual necessity, given how truly gripped we are by this desire, and how tightly a grip mere things tend to have on our feeble hearts.
Do we really need that pair of Biedermeier lounge chairs off the entrance to our garage, for those nights when we are too knackered to make it all the way into the foyer where our faithful publicist will no-doubt be waiting, slippers and Tylenol in hand, perhaps having dozed off after waiting up too long for us, not anticipating that our "Just popping out for some Smarties and vindaloo" would take 29 hours and end with our triumphant return to the flat not with a carton of takeaway but rather with three bejeweled though in retrospect tragically nasal courtesans whom, we must say, shall never be invited back due to their egregious social transgressions involving not just several cutting remarks directed at our choice of slippers but also an appallingly awkward reference to pomegranates that we, as staunch upholders of good taste and propriety, shall certainly not repeat in this forum, lest we offend your delicate sensibilities?
Perhaps, in retrospect, we do.
Habitually yours,
CE
Friday, January 20, 2006
Someone Needs to Tell That Man to Stop Tilting His Head
Darlings, we are of course referring to the right honourable Samuel Alito.
N'est-ce pas?
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Ciao, Bella - 2006 Style
Greetings, gentle readers.
We've just returned from our island retreat in the Mediterranean, where we spent the last four months lounging, recording, dancing, imbibing, and just being our generally luxurious selves. It was ... oh, words fail us, it was that sublime. And we are that hung over.
H A P P Y N E W Y E A R !
We positively adore the spectacle of New Year's Eve - we hope yours was delicious as well.
Warm wishes,
CE
We've just returned from our island retreat in the Mediterranean, where we spent the last four months lounging, recording, dancing, imbibing, and just being our generally luxurious selves. It was ... oh, words fail us, it was that sublime. And we are that hung over.
H A P P Y N E W Y E A R !
We positively adore the spectacle of New Year's Eve - we hope yours was delicious as well.
Warm wishes,
CE
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Sudoku - Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Seriously, people. What is this fucking thing? From under which rock did it emerge?
And why does it torment us so?
And why does it torment us so?
